so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
