I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
