honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
one might say we're banned from that church
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
