pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
