she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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