we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
