5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
