Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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