I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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