im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
