So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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