entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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