dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
