He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
