i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
