Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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