What a fucking waste of an outfit
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
