she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize