I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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