One girl and one boy is just not enough.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
