Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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