you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize