my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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