you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
