God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
