literally had 100 drinks last night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
