why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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