Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
