just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
