she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
