A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Just fell off a train. Bad.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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