She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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