Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
