i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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