If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
