i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
