Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
