I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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