Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize