my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
