guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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