This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
