He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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