note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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