Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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