oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
