Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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