If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
