you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
