just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
