Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
