allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize