i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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