The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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