remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
