and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
