Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
