youre lurking in front of me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize