so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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